Everyone told me that! Ha!
I have done the double full-time thing once before and knew that I could handle it, probably much better than when I did it last time. JD and I discussed it and how we would need to limit any activities outside of just work, school and time together. We also discussed that we would need to pay a yard man so that JD could start helping me with laundry, cooking and cleaning.
What I didn't realize is that JD would actually have to start helping with those three things. You see, in my mind, we discussed it but I was going to be Superwoman and still pull it all off. He was going to look at me in November and say, "Wow Court! I can't believe this! You got straight A's, were never late to class, grew the worship ministry at CUMC, cleaned, cooked, did laundry, grew with the Lord AND lost 20 lbs!"
Ha. How naive I was.
Today at lunch, I finally realized that I've been beating myself up for weeks every time that I get home and my wonderful husband is serving me dinner and folding the laundry. I had this attitude that if I couldn't do it all, I was failing as a human, Christian and wife.
As soon as I thought about this, I had to do the hard thing. I had to confess all of this to JD and tell him that as much as I didn't want to, I was going to keep relying on him to meet some of "my" to do lists at the house.
He laughed and said, "Wasn't that what we agreed to in early August?"
I also had to confess to God that I've been busy and it's been hard!
I think that's often what happens in our relationship with God. We often try to take it all on. We try to bear the burden that God had previously said He'd share with us. When we get consumed with guilt because we can't do it all, remember what Jesus said,
"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
All I can say to that is, "Hallelujah!"
August 24th, Adam led and we sang:
"White Flag" by Chris Tomlin
"Here For You" by Matt Redman
"Your Glory/Nothing But the Blood" by All Sons and Daughters
and "My Heart is Yours" by Kristian Stanfill
On August 31st, we sang:
"You Are My Vision" by Rend Collective Experiment
"Beautiful Things" by Gungor
"Desert Song" by Hillsong
and "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel (love this song!)
On September 7th, we sang:
"This is Amazing Grace" by Phil Wickham (or a great recording by Shane & Shane)
"Your Great Name" by Natalie Grant
"Take Me Lord" by our very own Adam Lynn! He wrote it!!
"Forever" by Kari Jobe
And last Sunday, September 14th, we sang:
"Reign in Us" by Starfield
"Alive in Us" by Hillsong
"Your Grace is Enough" by Matt Maher
"My Lighthouse" by Rend Collective Experiment