Not like this excited..
But like THIS excited!
I feel like I don't get really excited very often anymore. When I was a kid, it was all day, every day. When I was a teenager, I still got really excited often. When I got into college, things became a little less exciting. Responsibilities aren't always exciting.
And since college, I've only ever gained more responsibilities. Paying bills, running errands and doing the things that consume 70% of my time aren't always exciting.
I remember when I started dating JD over a year ago. At first, our relationship was so exciting. Every little date and every hand hold was exciting. Though on my bad days now, putting something into our relationship can feel much more like a responsibility and not something exciting.
I've been reading the book of Ecclesiastes and Solomon isn't very excited in that book. Every single stinkin' thing "is vanity and striving after the wind." It's kind of the way I've felt lately. All of my responsibilities are just chasing something that can't be caught. I think (terribly depressing) things like "Paying down these student loans is just never going to end. And when they do, I'll need a new car! It'll never end." or other things like, "As soon as I get this laundry folded and put up, I'm just going to have to do another load."
Responsibilities seem as though they are the end game of this life. Make money, pay your bills and make your relationships work with the lowest level of effort possible. Do the laundry, take out the trash, cook an alright dinner and watch a re-run on TV before bed. But this is exactly what we've been talking about in NewSong. Normal isn't working for our society. We aren't getting what we want OR need. We're chasing after the wind, things that can't be caught. So the solution is to be weird. Follow God and what He says to a place where we look and act weird.
A few weeks ago I blogged about Responsibility Shmonsibility and letting some things that we need to do wait til later so that we could finally have some fun. But I think there's more than that.
And for me, that means being excited. It means finding joy IN the responsibilities. Not only can we let it all out and celebrate the beautiful, wonderful life that God has given us, but we find joy in the things that seem God-less and boring.
I'm really bad about sometimes wanting to "get this over with and get out of here!" I think God's joy wells inside me when I stop to talk to people and share a laugh on my way instead of pushing my way through the line and out the door. And I meet some really exciting people along the way.
I hate doing household chores, but when I'm done with them, I'm able to invite people over to the house without being embarrassed. (still working on that one... vacuuming does what the vacuum itself does. if you don't get that joke, just keep thinking on it.)
Maybe I need to stop looking at the money being drained out of my account from student loans, and instead looking at that big number shrinking. With this payment, I'm owing less and honoring God in the process by honoring my commitments. (I bet if I told a Sallie Mae person that over the phone, they'd definitely think I was weird.)
If I'll slow down and look for Him in some of these seemingly-boring activities, I think He'll show up. God has been known to do that before. A lot.
For those things that I must do in this life, I am determined to let God's joy fill my heart while I do them. And I'm going to be really, really, really, excited by His presence in those places.
A place that God was present this week was in worship with us on Sunday. And that was really, really exciting. My flag football team being the ushers was awesomely exciting too!
So here are the songs we did this past week:
"Here For You" by Chris Tomlin
"One Thing Remains" by Kristian Stanfill or Jesus Culture
"Our God Saves" by Paul Baloche
for offering, Jamie did a great job on
"Burn Us Up" by Shane & Shane (the whole album is called Pages and it is incredible)
and at the end, we sang
"How He Loves" by David Crowder or John Mark McMillan
And for your enjoyment (and my pride), here is my super
Have a good week!