Monday, May 7, 2012

"Who" and "When"

So. Big and bold.
Yeah right.

Haha.
Last week, I blogged about being big and bold. Telling the truth when it isn't convenient.
Well let me tell YOU! He put me to the test on that one. That'll teach me about blogging something.
A few weeks ago, Jim talked about the difference between being bold and weird. For someone who hands out a business card with the word "Minister" at the end of her title, I'm expected to be weird. But I really try to not Bible beat people. But I'm also expected to be big and bold about my faith.

However, a few days ago, someone close to me said, "Someone asked me if God has a plan for my life. What does that mean!? No He doesn't have a plan for my life!!" Now this person obviously said it to me and the other people around because they expected me to come back with a Biblical answer and fight them, but I froze and almost started crying when I heard it.
My heart broke.
Into pieces. Lots of them.

Knowing a little about this person's life, I wanted to shake them and scream, "If you'd just turn around, you'd see that He does have a plan for your life and it involves a lot of forgiveness and healing. Because I can see that your heart is broken and nothing is going to fix it. Not a soul mate, not a drink, not perfect grades, not a good job, not moving, not a cat, not a dog. Nothing will fix it unless you let God step in. And His plan is probably harder, but it sure is better and much more beautiful. He can bring your dead heart to life."

But instead, I sat there stunned. I sat there broken hearted and holding back tears. Because that wasn't the right time to say it. That wasn't the right time to have that argument, and I knew it would be an argument. And instead of picking up the conversation later at a more appropriate time, I acted as if it had never happened. Two days later I was just as sad as when I heard those words uttered. "No, He doesn't have a plan for my life!"

Two things came of that moment. First, I had a real life lesson in being bold vs. weird. I learned just how much we need to let our love for people precede our big and bold conversations. It wouldn't have been bold for the gospel for me to say something at that moment. It would have created division and cold hearts. Second, I started praying.

And I haven't quit.
I started praying that I'd have the appropriate time in the future to tell this person how valued they are to God. I started praying that their heart would be softened. I started praying for a miracle, a radical transformation, and a chance to be there to witness it one day.

God does want us to be big and bold. I think that statement lets us know that the "who" we need to be big and bold with is everyone who doesn't know Him. But He also said there is a time for everything. Now we've just got to listen for the "when" from Him.  And we've got to pray hard that we'll hear it when He says it.

I sincerely look forward to the next time God challenges me with the "who" and "when" for big and bold conversations. I don't just want to be big and bold. I really want people to understand the difference that Jesus can make in their lives and their hearts. And a few days ago, I was reminded of what a large difference that is. It's literally to come alive from the dead. 

This past Sunday, we did something different in worship. We smashed together some songs to have a little bit of fun. Here are the combos:
You'll Come/Like a Lion by Hillsong/David Crowder
Beautiful Things/Jesus, Son of God by Gungor/Chris Tomlin
Cry in My Heart/Cannons by Starfield/Phil Wickham
and for the offering song
Lay Me Down by Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman (found on Passion:White Flag)

I hope that everyone has a great week and we will see you this weekend for Mother's Day and Miracle Sunday! It's going to be great :). I can't wait to be a part of it!

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