Waking up this morning was exactly what I feared it was going to be.
Today is Tuesday, the 24th day of May which means that I leave in two days. As I wrote those words, my stomach sunk lower that it ever has before.
I don't want to leave at all and while usually this feeling of dread is reserved for the day before I leave and the day of leaving, the lack of sleep due to sunburn isn't my best friend.
The past couple of nights have been miserable as I try to lay as still as possible so as not to induce pain. The pain isn't that bad when I'm awake but it has been in my dreams for the past two nights, meaning laying down is the culprit. Sunday night I dreamt that I got so sick that I was loaded on a plane to the States for treatment. Extreme, yes, but I'm not known for being the understated type, especially in my dreams. With that being the case, yesterday and today have been filled with the task of staying awake and coherent. I danced around La Torre yesterday in a state of delirium that caused a few laughs but was just pitiful. I feel okay but I'm really sleepy!
Jessie told me that the girls were asking what's wrong with me today and she asked if it was my leaving that was holding me down and it truly is. Tears are coming to my eyes as I think about leaving this place and these people that I love so much. I want to wake up every morning to my girls, spend time with my older girls as they do their homework, and get a million, "Hola Poporopo!"s as the younger girls come in from school. I want to get to hug and kiss a their faces everyday and tell them that they are beautiful and that I love them. I just love spending time with them and as Jim Kinder says, "Just doing life together." I don't want to turn their worlds upside down and make them live life like me. I want to be here to support them and play with them and be with them as they live their lives.
That being said, I have had the blessing of a lifetime this past week. Last night, Jamie took me, Jessie, Lily, Raquel and Julisa to MiraFlores (a mall) in the City to celebrate Julisa's birthday. The Jacobs (the American and the Guatemalan) went along to hang out with Jamie as we shopped. Jessie got Raquel a new cell phone since hers was stolen when she got robbed. Raquel was so excited to have a new phone and Jessie was excited to be able to provide that. Julisa picked Pizza Hut for dinner and she was going to pass out on me if I didn't feed her by the time we got there. We finally ordered the pizza in the food court after 8pm and she was tired. After she started eating breaksticks and pizza, the Julisa that we all love came back to life. We took a lot of funny pictures and had a good time being together. Something about just girls hanging out is a blessing in itself. We had a wonderful time and while Julisa slept on the way back, the rest of us shared laughs. It was a great evening!!!
Right now, Raquel is gone to University and Julisa is in school so I'm going to make a birthday cake for Julisa. Hopefully she'll love it. I am excited about spending another evening with the people I love. The gringos from Nebraska are having a movie night so we will enjoy the movie, cake and hopefully a little Skype time for the girls in Doncellas to meet some people from home.
As sad as I am to be leaving, I'm excited about all the weddings going on in the States. Skype is the coolest thing in the world and will soon become my best friend as I leave Jessie here.
I am looking forward to absorbing as much as I can within the next 48 hours!!